When kids are more resilient than we give them credit for!

 Resilience is a show stopper, it's a deal breaker, it's a life changer.  Resilience - NOT "mental strength" is the piece to the puzzle - the LAST piece to the puzzle - the determines success - IMO!

What is mental strength?  The most elusive buzz word on the market.  Have mental strength.  Need mental strength.  Train for mental strength.  What does that mean?  How do you "strengthen" your "mind"?  What tools allow you "mental strength", or is "mental strength" the tool??  We can go round and round and round - BUT, all "mental strength" actually means is - does one have RESILIENCE?  What is resilience?  Resilience is the ability to persevere through adversity, over and over and over again.  Resilience is taking constructive criticism, using it to improve, over and over and over again.  Resilience is being able to self-assess, understand one's worth from the inside, and no matter what the "world" (one's world around them) tries to tell them - they STILL go out and work their hardest, ignoring the "nay-sayers"!!  Lots of italics here - lots of "quote" marks here!!  That's because these words are word salads.  They can mean So many different things and they can mean different things amongst two people talking about the same outcome.  They are elusive.  RESILIENCE is not elusive!!  Resilience is what it is.......the ability to keep working hard, to keep a "stiff upper lip", the ability to ignore the noise and STILL persevere.  How does one work on their resilience?  THAT is the question at large.  

How does one "keep their confidence", since THAT is a word everyone can agree, is the difference between performing successfully or not......how often do we hear athletes and parents of those athletes say "if only they had the confidence", "if only the coach would give them more confidence", "they need to find their confidence", "confidence is everything" - and it's not a wrong statement.  It's HOW one gets confidence that makes the difference. Confidence comes from within.  Confidence does not come from others - that's a false confidence, because when things go astray, confidence is then easily lost!  Confidence MUST come from inside onself!  And then resilience rides together with self-confidence.

Sooooooooo, the real "buzzword" is RESILIENCE, and that is the tool to work on.

When coaches fail kids

 I think of this question, often.  "What happens when coaches fail kids, and how do they fail them?"

I am sure this question has come up for decades - for at least as long as sports teams have existed!

I have my opinions - and I will share them here (because I can, since it's my blog 🤪)  but think about those questions for your own children - what would that look, for your kids?  How would a coach fail your kids??

For me, as a sport coach and as a mental conditioning coach, there are many levels of potential failure.  There's the simple X's and O's.  Do they know the game?  Do they feel the game? The next question - can they TEACH the game - that's where the gift of teaching comes in.  Next - can they lead the team?  Do they develop leaders?  Do they care enough to try?  Lastly - how do they treat the individuals?   Do they rule with a heavy hand?  Do they have the capacity for empathy?  Do they have obvious favorites?  If not, is everyone treated exactly the same?  (is this good or bad? 🤷🏻‍♀️). If So, what "makes" a kid a "favorite"?  Is there respect, and is there mutual respect?  What are the standards?  And, of those standards, does the bar of standards vary depending upon which child it's attached to?  

Goodness, there are different levels, and let's face it, there are many more questions that could be inserted in this discussion.  I feel like I've touched on ones I'm always thinking about, but if I spoke to a group of parents, no doubt they would have many more great questions, depending upon what's important to them!

So, BIG question, what happens when coaches fail kids?

New Year, New Attitude

 2024

New Year 

New Attitude

Women need to take a stand this year, and dig our heels in!!

Title IX was finally signed into law in 1972 and really made waves in the '80's, so that young women could compete in high schools and colleges around the US, and then internationally, if good enough!

We could represent, proudly, the United States of America in many sports!  What a leap we had taken!

With that being said, we women worked too many years for respect and equality, to bow down to the strange new world of men, pretending to be women, in order to play, compete and win - against women, in sports around the world. Complete insanity!!

Generationally speaking, women in our 50's lead this race, and worked hard to compete against anyone and everyone.  We created opportunities for each generation after us, and did it while fighting with administrations and MEN, along the way!

So, in this New Year, let's continue to put up the big fight for our future, and the future of young women everywhere!

Women in sport

Women in the sports world has continued to be challenging BUT, some of the challenges are self-made.  To be excellent, you must be willing to work harder than others.  To be excellent, you must be willing to sacrifice.  To be one of the best, you must be willing to do more than most.  THAT is how you can succeed.  Then, unfortunately, you must have the RIGHT people around you. 

Holiday Time

The holidays are up and coming - as December 1st rolls in - many families are planning for trips of vacation and others for trips of competition.  One suggestion, from personal experiences - IF your family is one for a trip of competition - MAKE sure you get actual family time in and make memories OTHER than the sport of choice!  Your child’s future in sport is unknown while your family’s future together is forever.  Make both memories serve your family love!

Dream BIG 

Youth Sports

 Youth sports can be one of the most energising areas of a young person’s life.  Sports are a metaphor of life and can teach lessons beyond the classroom.  However, sports can also run havoc in a family’s life, if not approached in a positive manner.  In this blog, I will touch on many aspects of youth sports and growing up in the sports world, while learning lessons into adulthood!

Dream Big